Monday, December 5, 2011

Good Marriages Take Time


I read this and thought you might appreciate it. (from a man's perspective)

Some days I think men, especially, inherit a double dose of impatience. That could explain why so many of us despise shopping and mutter when the driver in front of us balks at turning right on red.  More than once, my wife, Debi, has said: "Sometimes I just don't understand you at all!" Well, I haven't completely figured her out, either. After more than twenty years of marriage, there's so much more we need to learn about loving and living, as husband and wife.  And it takes time.

But why is that so exasperating? My guess is it's part of human nature.  A congenital hurry-bone of contention inherited from Adam and Eve who started the whole business by eating an apple guaranteed to give them instant knowledge.

When we live by the false "faster is better" creed, we lose sight of the contrasting truth: Relationships take lots of time to develop and nurture.  They demand long hours and years and even decades of work. 

But when you stop to consider the alternative, it's clear that marriage is worth the time.  Why hurry to divorce court when you can take your time and nurture a deep commitmment for the rest of your life?

Marriage Builders:
  • Have you ever felt that your marriage should be better faster? 
  • Why is it so hard to be patient as relationships develop?

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Apple Juice Arsenic

http://abcnews.go.com/US/arsenic-juice-consumers-union-study-prompts-fda-action/story?id=15053583

Nov. 30, 2011

An investigation into trace amounts of arsenic found in bottled juice has prompted advocacy group Consumers Union to urge the Food and Drug Administration to lower its standards for arsenic levels in juice drinks.
The results of the study released Wednesday indicate that 10 percent of juices tested had total arsenic levels greater than the FDA's standard for drinking water of 10 parts per billion (ppb), while 25 percent of juices also had lead levels higher than the FDA's bottled water limit of 5 ppb.

Consumer Reports tested 88 samples of popular brands of grape and apple juice sold in the United States, including Mott's, Minute Maid and Welch's. Most of the arsenic detected in Consumer Reports' tests was a type known as inorganic, which is a human carcinogen.

The testing and analysis has led Consumers Union, the advocacy arm of Consumer Reports, to urge the federal government to establish a standard of 3 ppb for total arsenic and 5 ppb for lead in juice.

"We're concerned about the potential risks of exposure to these toxins, especially for children who are particularly vulnerable because of their small body size and the amount of juice they regularly consume," said Urvashi Rangan, Ph.D., director of safety & sustainability at Consumer Reports.

Although federal standards exist for arsenic and lead levels allowed in bottled and drinking water, there are no limits defined for fruit juices, a mainstay of many children's diets.

In a statement to ABC News regarding the new Consumer Reports data the FDA -- which stated in September 2011 amid public controversy that apple juice consumption poses little or no risk -- said it is now gathering further information.

"A small percentage of samples contain elevated levels of arsenic. In response, the FDA has expanded our surveillance activities and is collecting additional data," the agency said.


The FDA's statement on the safety of drinking apple juice.
Michael Landa, acting director of the FDA's Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition told two advocacy groups last week that the agency will collect and analyze juice samples from U.S. retailers to determine "the prevalence of arsenic in juice and to better understand the species of arsenic found in juice," according to Food Safety News.

The Juice Products Association responded by saying that the study is incongruous.

"Juice is not water. To compare the trace levels of arsenic or lead in juice to the regulatory guidelines for drinking water is not appropriate," the JPA said in a statement.

Consumer Reports also analyzed the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's data on arsenic in the urine of men and women who were willing to report their food and drink consumption for 24 hours prior. Analysis showed that people who reported drinking apple or grape juice had, on average, about 20 percent higher levels of total urinary arsenic than those subjects who did not.

Patty Lovera, assistant director of Food & Water Watch, said it's important that the FDA establish an appropriate amount of arsenic acceptable in juice.

"This is movement, and so that's encouraging, but we really want to see the agency get to a point where they figure out the right level," she said.

Just over a week ago, the FDA announced the results of its own testing of apple juice -- most of which is produced in the U.S. The agency found that eight samples out of 160 had arsenic levels that exceeded their own "level of concern" for total arsenic.

Echoing Lovera and Consumer Reports' advice, ABC News' Chief Health and Medical Editor Dr. Richard Besser also says that the FDA needs to set a standard for apple juice for industry. The standard should probably be lower than what FDA is currently using, according to Besser.

The divisive subject reached a fever pitch in September when Besser confronted Dr. Mehmet Oz on "Good Morning America" for what he called "extremely irresponsible" statements Oz made on "The Dr. Oz Show" in an episode focusing on the dangers of trace levels of arsenic present in many popular brands of apple juice. Oz's statements at the time were said to be misleading and needlessly frightening to consumers.

Dr. Besser spoke on the subject on "Good Morning America" on Wednesday, explaining the faultiness of the information provided by the FDA and stating that he feels the agency should hold the juice industry accountable.

"Back in September the FDA made a number of statements that reassured me. I'm much less reassured now. They published the test online, but withheld eight results that were very high," Besser said.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

To a Special Person

IT'S CHRISTIAN PERSON WEEK AND YOU SHOULD SEND THIS TO ALL BEAUTIFUL CHRISTIAN PEOPLE.

When I say that 'I am a Christian', I am not saying that 'I am clean living. I'm saying 'I was lost, but now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say 'I am a Christian', I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say 'I am a Christian', I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say 'I am a Christian', I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and need GOD to clean my mess.

When I say 'I am a Christian', I'm not claiming to be perfect. My flaws are far too visible, but GOD believes I am worth it.

When I say 'I am a Christian', I still feel the sting of pain. I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon HIS name.

When I say 'I am a Christian', I'm not holier than thou, I'm just a simple sinner who received GOD's good grace, somehow!

Today is Beautiful Christian Person's Day.

Boost another person's self esteem, and send this to them!

Be Blessed, and be a Blessing.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Living Together? Here’s Why You Should Marry Her


Being single can be fun, rewarding—and deadly.
So says a new study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology that showed single men are 32 percent more likely to die than married men. Even worse, single guys in their 30s are more than twice as likely (128 percent) to die as those who’ve gotten hitched.
Why? It’s all about support, explains study author David Roelfs, assistant professor of sociology and the University of Louisville. Here are three ways a wife keeps you breathing—and a surprising truth regarding living together:

  1. An Automatic Ear
    Close relationships are one of the best buffers for stress, and since a married guy has social interaction waiting for him at home he naturally gets more stress relief than his single friends. “When you’re single,” says Roelfs, “you are more likely to just go home and stew over it alone.”
  2. She Nags You … In a Good Way
    A recent Canadian study found that married men were 7 percent more likely than single men to go to a hospital within six hours of experiencing heart attack symptoms because their wives insisted. Her persistence also has daily health benefits. “You eat better because when you’re single there is no one to stop you from eating a frozen microwave pizza three nights in a row,” says Roelfs.
  3. Wealthier = Healthier
    Money is one of the most important factors in health, and when you’re married more money comes in and contributes to a more prosperous household bottom line. “Marriage really increases your ability to eat well and get better medical care,” says Roelfs.

More from MensHealth.com: Be a Better Husband

Live-in Girlfriends Don’t Cut It
Several studies have shown that live-in couples have better mental and physical health than single guys and girls, but not as good as those who get hitched. Why? Roelfs says that because live-in relationships lack a legal framework and are easier to end, the bond just isn’t as strong. Also, live-in relationships often don’t last long enough to have a positive effect on health.
Regardless of marital status, Roelfs says there’s one thing all guys can do to stay healthy (and alive)—make the time and tend to your social circle. Venting is one of the best ways to relieve stress, but you need people to vent to. “It’s a good idea even when you’re married,” Roelfs says.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Save a Child's Life






A season filled with unspeakable tragedy and unfortunate accidents both on and off the field finally has a potentially serious story with a very happy ending.
Emmanuel Marlow, a 49-year-old Washington, D.C., native who works as a vendor at Nationals Park and other stadiums in the district, was making his normal rounds Thursday afternoon shortly after the start of a Washington Nationals game when he noticed a commotion in one of his sections.

A young boy had begun choking on his food and those around him were panicking. According to a witness who first reported the heroic act to Dan Steinberg of the Washington Post, when Marlow came upon the scene and saw that no one else had taken charge, he immediately abandoned his vending duties and began performing the Heimlich maneuver.

After two unsuccessful thrusts, Marlow remained calm and cool, and ensured the child's mother he would be all right. On his third attempt, Marlow dislodged a piece of chicken from the child's throat.
"I guess they never had experienced a first-aid situation," said Marlow, who had once worked a game at FedEx Field when a patron had a mild stroke. "[The boy] was actually going to a new color. I knew I needed to jump in and do it. There was no time for hesi­ta­tion. It had to be done right then and there."
After a quick examination at the stadium, the boy was deemed to be OK. His grateful mother went up to Marlow and spent 10 minutes hugging him, crying and thanking him for saving her son's life.
And then, just like that, Marlow went back to work.
"I was just glad I was there and knew what to do and did it; that's the best thing that happened," Marlow told [Steinberg]. "His mother's not grieving over a lost child. That's the most important thing."
It's concerning to hear how long the situation played out before someone — anyone — took charge to help the young child. And it's very scary to consider what the outcome could have been if Marlow had not come along.

I would strongly encourage anyone who has not been trained in performing the Heimlich, CPR and other life-saving procedures to consider taking the small amount of time it requires to either become certified, or simply become familiar enough to be comfortable taking action in a similar emergency.

That's what Marlow did; he once took a free CPR class at a local college, Steinberg writes, because he thought it might come in handy some day. And it might not surprise you to learn that Marlow's "day" job begins at 3 a.m. and involves caring for patients with Parkinson's disease. Marlow says it's just in his nature to help people.

You just never know when a similar situation will play out around you, or even involving someone you love. It's always better to be safe and prepared than to be sorry.
Right now, we're all very thankful Emmanuel Marlow took the time and was prepared to do what was right. That is what makes a hero.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Strong Marriages, Secure Kids


With so many divorces happening in our culture, its not uncommon for children to wonder if divorce is going to attack their home.  The wholesomeness of a great romance and friendship makes your kids feel safe and gives them confidence that their home will be stable and secure.

So, the question is, how can you secure a healthy marriage relationship, for you and your children?
  1. Spend time together: families need to prioritize their relationship in such a way that they make time for each other.  Schedule a weekly family date and have "couch time" every day.  Sit down with your spouse, your kids and talk about how their days went.  The kids will see that you place top priority in your relationships with each other.  Children feel secure when they see a team of dad, mom, and them....and they are all committed to each other.
  2. Show a united front with your kids: there are many decisions the two of you (husband and wife) will disagree on BUT never verbalize your frustrations, or disagreements in front of your children.  Even if you are the one who gives in, you still win because as a team, you are both deciding to go the same direction.
  3. Lead your family in moral authority: When you look at your children and say, "this is the way I want us to live," is that same standard reflected in your own lives (as mom and dad)? Do your children see it lived in your relationship with each other?
Husbands, lead your families by the way you lead your marriage.  Wives, encourage your husband and embrace your role as his helpmate (Eph 5:22-23)

When a husband loves and pursues his wife, a son learns what wholesome love looks like - and he will notice a glaring difference in what the world calls love and stability.  When a daughter observes wholesome, romantic love at home, she's less likely to fall for a guy who tells her she's pretty and says he loves her, just so he can use her.

A solid, thriving marriage relationship builds a culture of trust and confidence that instills values into your children.  They're  more likely to receive your teaching, if they see the benefits in your own marriage.  It also builds security in the hearts of young people and helps them make decisions not out of fear, but in response to the examples their parents show of a wholesome, thriving marriage and family. 

Parents, let's respond to the call to create a culture in our homes that withstands the world.
Proverbs 22:6

Family Builders:
  • What are some ways that you can show your children what a strong, secure marriage looks like?
  • How many more practical things can you do to make family/relationship time important?

Friday, August 19, 2011

5 Ways to let go of a Grudge

By
Forwarded by Lynn


Getting angry is one thing. Holding a bitter grudge is another. Over the long term, chronic feelings of resentment can harm your physical health, according to the authors of a new book, Embitterment.


The influence of negative emotions is so powerful that the authors think there should be a new diagnosis called post-traumatic embitterment disorder, or PTED, for those who can't forgive the people who have wronged them, reports CNN's senior medical correspondent Elizabeth Cohen in her new "Empowered Patient" column.

Like other negative emotions — stress and depression among them — bitterness has physical consequences: high blood pressure, elevated heart rate, increased risk of heart disease. The longer you hold a grudge, the more likely your negative emotions will take a toll on your heart and your health.

"The data that negative mental states cause heart problems is just stupendous," Dr. Charles Raison, associate professor of psychiatry at Emory University School of Medicine, told CNN. "The data is just as established as smoking, and the size of the effect is the same."

Life is nothing if not unjust, however, so we're all apt to feel bitter about something at some point in our lives. The trick is not to let it become a chronic problem.

Cohen offers five tips to keep your anger from festering. I've summed them up, below, but to get a fuller picture, you should read Cohen's column in its entirety on CNN:
  • Vent to your spouse about what's bothering you
  • Remember that you're not the only person in the world who's ever been wronged
  • Consider confronting the person who injured you
  • Realize you're only hurting yourself by holding a grudge
  • Try to see things from the other person's point of view
Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2011/08/18/5-ways-to-let-go-of-a-grudge/#ixzz1VUbJa1XN

Friday, June 17, 2011

The Heart of the Matter



- Shared by The Maddox's

The Great Commandment: Love the Lord thy God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength; and love your neighbor as yourself. Our primary responsibility in this life is to love God which then allows us to love ourselves and others.

Barrier to receiving God's Love: In relationships, the real issue isn't love, it is the condition of our heart. When our hearts are in the right position, love flows automatically. The heart is the vital core of one's being (Proverbs 4:23). 

The condition of our hearts need to be open, not closed. An open heart feels involved, concerned, connected, emotionally alive, loved, tender and available. When we live a willful life of sin, our hearts become closed and disconnected from God and our spouses.  When a relationship does not feel emotionally safe, our hearts will close and we will withdraw from that person (Genesis 3:10).  Other issues might be that we have allowed past hurts to embed themselves in our hearts, and therefore, we have believed the lies that come with it. Or we have willfully chosen to be selfish and proud; rather than selfless and humble.

Heart Builders:
  • How do we address our hearts, if they are in fact closed?
    • Choose to live a life that is alive
    • Identify what lies are written on your heart (Hebrews 4:12-13)
    • Discover God's truth about you (John 8:32 & Psalms 139)
    • Take what people say and do to us to the Lord and discover His truth
    • Give your heart a voice and learn to manage your emotions (Proverbs 16:32)

Monday, June 6, 2011

Beyond, "I'm Sorry"


Ever felt like you can't resolve your differences as a couple? Differences like how money is spent; outside relationships; past hurts; etc....

Sometimes, its not just saying you are sorry for doing something wrong, its also asking for forgiveness.  Saying sorry, is a unilateral act and doesn't actually require a response from the offended person.
ASKING for forgiveness from your spouse or fiancee, involves a two-way act of confession, and hopefully, forgiveness.

When hurtful actions or words test the very core of your relationship, taking the additonal step of asking for forgiveness can be a road to healing.

Relationship Builders:
  • What are some major areas that you feel forgiveness needs to be asked for, and communicated?
  • How does forgiving free you to let go of the past and look ahead to the future?
Nehemiah 9:17