Encouragement

Encouragement requires empathy—seeing the world from your spouse's perspective. We must first learn what is important to them.....Only then can we give encouragement

Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do. http://bible.com/1/1th.5.11.kjv

Love language

It doesn’t matter that your heart is in the right place, or that you’re trying as hard as you possibly can, or that other men/women would feel lucky to have a husband/wife like you. 

You will not be able to fill your spouse's love tank without using his/her primary love language.

And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. http://bible.com/1/1pe.4.8.kjv